Malawi, as you may well know is a land of contrast. Beauty and Poverty. Happiness and grief. Churches and nfitis. BMWs and beggars. You catch my drift..
Sometimes the contrast is so extreme it results in a clash. These clashes occur everywhere and can be encountered regularly, to the shock and detriment of one’s disposition. Formal functions are a rich source of them, as you well know… And if you are a Malawian girl of a certain age, you are expected to attend these formal functions such as weddings and bridal showers on a weekly basis. But, do not despair young Malawian girl, for this is a fine place to observe the Malawian peoples in their element! Look at how she casually discards a K50 with a flick of the wrist, look at how the MC gyrates to the next song! And look at what everyone is wearing! Look at that fabolous woman in a white hat-
Look at that cheeky lady with the peach fascinator-
Look at those guys in dashing suits-
And then bang! It hits you! There’s a guy with a wig on and a purse around his neck- *disney fail noise- pweeeee pweeee pweeeeem*
I told you it could be shocking people. These occurrences are not limited to weddings and bridal showers- random clashes also occur on the streets. Exhibit A- regular man buying tangerines while wearing a Chelsea football shirt (cough) and boxy formal slacks. CLASH! Also schooner-esque shoes. And I’m gonna go ahead and take this opportunity to campaign against shoes that resemble boats. Malawian men, can we make it stop? They are EVERYWHERE.
Clashes can also be of the internal kind. Take for example crocs, which I positively despise. My aunty wears them! Some of my very best friends swear by them… Dare I castigate them? Clash of conscience! Alas, I must maintain impartiality. CROCS ARE BAD. There i said it! Comfort does not excuse ugliness. They should only be allowed on kids under the age of 5.. Observe-
They do nothing for anybody.
Some clashes are of the circumstantial kind. For example, what is this ROCKSTAR doing playing in a band at Buchanans? He should be on tour with the Killers! What a bad-ass-
So folks, do not be shocked with these clashes that assault you on a daily basis. Take it in your stride, as the beauty in the Malawi is definitely in the variety.